Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Our new baby, installment #5

My husband and I may have been sure about a home a birth, but no one else among my family or friends could understand our decision. What was frustrating for me was not being able to penetrate their logic. Some knew that old saying "once a cesarean always a cesarean," though they may not have known why, unless they read my book, that that saying even came into being. Others could not stop asking, "What if something goes wrong at home?" The answers to these questions, even now, are (I concede) so fundamental, but so tedious that I cannot even bear to write about it.

The conversation with family came to a head at a birthday party last June. My sister-in-law was about a month away from her due date with her first baby. I suggested that we all chip in and hire a doula for my brother (who was very nervous about the process) and his wife. I explained how the hospital can actually inhibit birth if a woman feels afraid or not totally supported through labor. Well, the doula idea didn't fly. And instead, the conversation turned to focus on my own birth plan. Tears were shed. And from that day on, we decided not to discuss home birth amongst ourselves.

To find out how my sister-in-law's birth went, see my blog post from that time. http://tinacassidy.blogspot.com/2007/07/new-baby-in-family.html

My parents witnessed the above birth and finally started to understand where I was coming from.

6 comments:

N said...

can't you do two installments a day? :)

Love your book!

Amanda said...

I had a prolapsed cord, and an emergency general anesthesia delivery with #3. My birth plan went totally out the window. All my others were born in a hospital, with a midwife and no interventions. (not even an IV port) #2 an amazing waterbirth, and #4 a VBAC.

I was too nervous to do a home birth, but I was also confident in myself, as to not allow the medical establishment to over step non-medical necessities. Generally with each delivery there was only 1 nurse that I had a conflict with.

And of course, the on staff pedi who wanted to push the vaccines...

Tina Cassidy said...

To n-- I would be happy to post two times a day, if you can baby sit! ;)

To Amanda, you are the rare woman who can take on the hospital successfully. Good for you! What state do you live in if you don't mind me asking...

Amanda said...

I'm in OH. I had an amazing midwife. That alone was empowering. I also chose to do much research of what I wanted my birth experience to be. So many people (not just birthing mothers) follow the medical establishment without question. While I understood medical emergencies happen, I also knew that I could make decisions that controlled as much as possible.

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