Sunday, January 13, 2008

What Hemingway had to do with my birth

We knew immediately when we walked out of that first meeting that we would sign the contract to hire the midwife. And indeed, we did. One of the reasons was that when we asked what her depth of experience was with VBACs she said she had done many -- especially lately, since so many women were increasingly feeling pressure from hospitals to have repeat cesareans. When we asked her if she treated VBAC clients differently than those who have never had a cesarean, she replied without blinking: "No."

My husband piped up: "Isn't there a greater risk for uterine rupture?

She did not take the bait, saying that the scar just does not come into play.

"We grow stronger in the broken places," my husband offered, quoting Hemingway.

The midwife nodded. I cried. Love that guy.

11 comments:

Sheridan said...

I LOVE that Hemmingway quote. How appropriate for VBAC moms.

Nicole D said...

ugh. just found your blog. hooked. need to keep reading. not good, i have laundry to do. :o)

Natalie said...

LOVE IT!

Tina Cassidy said...

Nicole, I have laundry too! Including dirty diapers!

mom said...

This might have been about the time that Tina invited us to dinner to meet the midwife and doula. By a stroke of luck Tina's mother-in-law was in town and would be joining us. The only information she was given was that the baby would be delivered by a midwife. She is bright and intelligent and isn't afraid to say what she thinks. This was great for me. I would let her ask the questions so that I wouldn't have to be the adversary. When the conversation centered around the "home birth" she shot me a look across the table. I looked back with one eyebrow raised. It could have been a seen from "meet the in-laws" only we were two mothers saying what the heck are they doing? She proceeded to ask all the what if questions and I knew that all I needed to do was to sit back, listen and enjoy dinner. I drove home a little more at peace but still doubtful.

Tina Cassidy said...

Mom, is that why you were so quiet at dinner? You left the dirty work for my mother-in-law?? HA! Just one clarification, we had two MIDWIVES over for dinner. Not a midwife and a doula. ;)

mom said...

I would never leave the dirty work to someone else...except this time. It was interesting watching her have the same reaction that I had weeks before. And to be honest, I throughly enjoyed the banter between her and the midwives, although I did notice your husband squirm a bit.

Judit said...

Tina! How creative! hats off to your midwives. Two grandmas at once, now that takes courage :)

Tina Cassidy said...

Judit, it was an accident that both grandmas were there the night the midwives were scheduled to come to our home for dinner. This was actually the first home visit by the midwives, so they could get a feel for the house and find their way there. I figured the least I could was cook them dinner. Meanwhile, my mother-in-law happened to be in town, and my mother wanted to meet the midwives, so we made it an occasion. The midwives graciously answered all questions. More on this night in a later post.

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